FMTY 101: A Complete Guide to FMTY with FAQ and a Step-By-Step Guide to Booking Your First Travel Date
Hiring a companion to join you on a travel date is an incredible experience, creating lifetime memories and making exploring the world (or even your hometown!) so much more magical. But it can be intimidating, especially for a first-timer!
Luckily for you, you have an expert on your side😉I love traveling, and travel dates! As a long-time travel companion with more than a few FMTY under my belt now (see a few of my favorites listed here) and this being the third post in a blog series about them, I’m here and ready to help out!
After requests from curious gents unsure on where to begin, and compliments from favors about how much more at ease I made them feel in the process of booking their first travel date with me, I figured I’d write up a “FMTY 101” tutorial with all of your frequently asked questions and a step-by-step tutorial to take out the anxiety of booking your first FMTY with your favorite companion!
I’ll start this post with FAQ, and end with a Step-By-Step how to guide for booking your first FMTY!
**Keep in mind that not every companion is the same, and this post is speaking from my personal experiences/preferences of myself and what I commonly see from friends/other companions in the industry. Check the website of the provider you’re looking for thoroughly, and it never hurts to ask directly! If there’s anything I missed, feel free to check out my other blog posts about FMTY dates, or email me with your questions!
What’s a FMTY? (And why do I keep seeing TMTY and FYTM around too?)
I wrote a whole blog post about this with further breakdowns, but basically a FMTY (Fly Me To You) is a travel date wherein you book your favorite companion(s) to travel to you for a date! This could be your hometown, one of your favorite cities a few hours’ train from where she’s based that you’re going to for a convention, or somewhere across the world to check off a bucket list trip together! As long as it’s somewhere that the companion isn’t home based or currently touring, it’s a FMTY! TMTY is the same thing but with specifically train travel rather than any type, and FYTM is where you go visit her in her hometown. Read a further breakdown of all of this here!
Why should I book a FMTY and not just see someone local to where I’m visiting?
There are a few different reasons to choose a FMTY. You might have seen someone you can’t stop thinking about and have an upcoming celebration that you’d like to share with the girl of your dreams!
Alternatively, you may have been seeing a companion for some time in your home city and have built a wonderful close intimate relationship up together,but then she moves out of state or country even and you want to maintain that amazing relationship you already have.
Some other reasons people book FMTY are:
for extra discretion
making a business trip more enjoyable
taking the nerves and planning out of a bucket-list trip
I go further in-depth on reasoning in my Pros and Cons of FMTY blog post!
What kind of dates make good FMTY? Can I book a FMTY to anywhere in the world?
As long as the companion is up for it, you can book FMTY anywhere the fancy takes you, whether it’s for business or pleasure!
Four fantastic options for FMTY are:
Having a companion join you on your business trip to keep you company
Bringing her to your hometown where you can act as a tour-guide (or her former hometown where you’re based if she’s moved away!)
Anywhere on your bucket list that would be even more special with a companion (Northern Lights, anyone?), or somewhere you’ve wanted to visit but haven’t had the time to research where you should go or an itinerary, like if you’ve always wanted to see the south of France but have no idea where to start
Conventions based on your interests, and shared interests with your companion (for example, a couple of my favorite FMTYs have been to the PAX Unplugged tabletop gaming convention, and to go to the Sitges Film Festival outside of Barcelona!
Keep in mind that FMTY don’t have to be fancy! It can be easy to be insecure when most of the FMTY dates you’ve seen are companions in beachfront houses and resorts, or in a week across Europe with their favorite gentlemen, but that’s not all FMTY dates are! Don’t get me wrong, I love those as well and have enjoyed both, but some of my favorite FMTY dates have included camping together, exploring small town main-streets for ice cream at old soda fountains, and sharing Steak and Shake while we watch anime on the couch cuddled up.
Is there a minimum or maximum length of time that I can book a FMTY for?
This varies on the provider and the city you’re looking at! Some providers have minimum lengths they’ll go to for different parts of the world (for example, someone based in NYC may only want to go visit Los Angeles for bookings of 8 hours or longer) and have that listed, others are happy to go for as little as you’d like, though you’ll be paying the same rate as you’d be paying for a longer date.
As for maximum, that again depends on the provider, how long you’ve known each other, the place you’re visiting and your end goal in the relationship together. (If you’re looking to build something more regular and long-term, a longer booking would be good! Etc) As a starting point, an overnight for somewhere nearby (say, a 4 hr train or less) and 24 hours for somewhere a longer flight away.
Can I book a FMTY as my first date?
Everyone has different policies for this, but for me the answer is absolutely! Several of my FMTY dates have been with gentlemen I haven’t met with before then. I am the bucket-list redhead, aren’t I? If you’re extra nervous, it can help to start with something shorter such as an overnight-24 hour date and going from there for longer dates in the future!
How much does it cost and what does a custom rate entail?
Every companion is different on this, and many (like me) have specific flat-rate packages where it’s always the same rate for FMTY based on different locations! This makes it easier to plan, as it’s one all-inclusive cost for her time, travel, and various miscellaneous costs like taxis etc. You can know before even emailing how much the cost would be, which saves everyone time!
Others have a custom rate for all FMTY bookings! A custom rate takes into a variety of things. The time of year, how much notice you give, how many days you’d like to spend with your companion, what activities you have in mind, how far your companion is having to travel, and how much reorganizing of their calendar there is -another reason to book as far in advance as possible, as it can reduce rates greatly.
There’s pros and cons to both approaches!
If you have a specific budget and want to try and find out what rate the booking will be before you reach out, here’s a good formula:
First, check her site to see if she has specific FMTY rates listed on her rate, travel or FAQ pages!
Do pure math on the amount of time you’d like to see her for. For example, if you want 3 days and she only lists up to 24 hours, take the 24-hour rate and multiply by 3! If you’re looking for 36 hours, take the 24 hour rate and multiply by 1.5.
Add in the cost of a first-class or business-class flight ticket from her location to where you’re hoping to meet her. Some providers don’t require this! And some such as myself and others, do. Doing this ensures that you’re putting her comfort first, and especially for a longer flight and if the companion has health conditions (like my fibromyalgia), that extra space is essential for them to arrive their best self!
Add some extra cushion room. This can cover the cost of transit to the hotel from the airport, food, a night’s hotel stay to rest before seeing you, and for lost income while she’ll be gone with you!
This may not be a fully accurate picture- her estimate may be lower than you’d imagine, or it may be higher if it’s a busy time of year for her, someplace extra far away, or for other reasons. The best way to find out is simply to ask! As long as you’re serious, it’s appreciated to take the time in, and you may be surprised!
If you’re thinking that your budget may never afford you such a luxury, check out my post on How to Save Money on FMTY Dates for ideas and tips to help.
Why is a FMTY more expensive?
FMTY is more expensive generally for a variety of reasons. When you book a FMTY, a companion will often lose the day before and the day after the trip for preparation and recovery. This means they can’t work on those two days. So essentially, a 48-hour FMTY trip means a 4-day calendar blocking for the companion. There are also travel fares to take into consideration, such as business or first class travel so your companion arrives at their destination in tip-top condition, meaning you get them at their absolute best. you’re also paying for the privilege of your dream companion leaving their home city and traveling to you/with you, and their own personal obligations.
Does the rate quoted include everything or will there be additional expenses?
The rate quoted will include flights, accommodation for me, and my rate. Generally, activities, meals, and any other expenses that are incurred during our date are added costs unless otherwise arranged.
I’m a newbie and/or don’t have the time to plan our trip, can you arrange the whole thing?
Ask the companion you’re thinking of whether they do, but I love planning and booking dates! Just reach out via my booking form at ellesutton.com/contact and give me as much information as possible in the first instance. From there we can build an itinerary depending on your hobbies and interests, how long the date will last, and taking into consideration the time of year and what may or may not be on. Recommendations for hotels, restaurants and other local information can also be sent to you for you to book or if you prefer the total can be added to the total and I can book it all.
How much deposit is required?
You should always expect to pay a larger deposit than usual for a FMTY date! 30-75% is normal, and I require 50% + travel costs.
What’s the difference between a FMTY vs sponsor a tour?
Some providers offer ‘sponsored tours’ , where you book a minimum length booking with a larger deposit, and the companion books a tour around it where they’ll see other clients.
How to enquire and reach out for a FMTY date?
Make sure you have realistic expectations on costs (check the formula above again!), and then when you’re ready to arrange a travel date, fill out the booking form, giving as much detail as possible, duration, location, plans, and even budget so that the provider can customize exactly to your requirements. By giving an idea of your budget it can help the provider plan your date better!
Who books the companion’s flights and hotels?
It’s best that the companion books their flights and hotel once the deposit is received both for discretion purposes and for ease! If you’re hosting, you would book the hotel but I’m more than happy to book everything if that’s what you would prefer.
Will you sleep in the same room or do you need a separate room?
At the very least, it’s best to get a room with an extra large bed. However, if you snore or sleep uneasily it would be better to have separate bedrooms so that the companion can always be fresh and at their best for you!
How far in advance can I book a FMTY?
The further in advance you book the better, especially during the busiest month of the year, like around the holidays. With plenty of notice, you’ll often also get preferential rates!
Step-by-step FMTY booking process
Read your companion’s website thoroughly, and be sure to read rates and small print/ terms and conditions.
Understand the costs generally expected (do the calculation above if you’d like if she doesn’t have flat fee options!) and make sure you’re including the cost of first-class or business-class flights if that’s required/for generosity’s sake.
Fill in your companion’s booking form and give as much detail as you can, dates, duration, and even budget so you can both be on the same page.
And now, you’re ready to take on the world together with your favorite companion! If that’s me, fill out my booking form, and let’s start checking off our bucket lists together!
Have a business trip or vacation coming up yourself?
Why not reach out to discuss further, I’d love to accompany you❤️ esassistant@protonmail.com or ellesutton.com/contact.